Monday, July 30, 2012

Olympic Family Viewing


I was looking forward to getting some Olympic family viewing in, and our first attempt was after little Violet had sacked out; Daisy and I sat down to watch a gymnastics event. I was all warmed up for creating those golden family memories when Daisy turned to me, disappointed, "This is a little more riverdance than gymnastics."


Huh? What is riverdancing to you?


"This." Daisy popped off the couch, "I know! We'll have our own Family Olympics!"


Why does everything have to be So Freaking Complicated with girls? And, I do mean to stereotype.
 
 
I tried to coax her back to the couch...let's just chill and watch a little real Olympics first.


Daisy told me she couldn't because she was jealous. I'm not sure if she meant of the athletes or the announcers because she's kept up a running commentary ever since.


Morning at Family Olympic Headquarters.













 
 
As I was pouring my first cup of coffee, Daisy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, stood in front of me with her clipboard, "We are going to be starting our raffle soon for the games we're going to be playing today." She followed me to the couch, rattling off instructions and blocking my view of the real Olympics, "We are going to have teams - wait, no, we're not. We're NOT going to have teams but we will form our own teams . . at the end. I'll explain it later, Mom. Mom, sign right here."
 
 
I'm not signing anything.


Without a pause, Daisy turned to her sister coloring at the table, "Violet, sign right here! Let me read it for you . . . contract: you will not throw a fit or hurt any person or object in this room if you get the bronze...because the bronze is not the best. It's not the best, Violet. The bronze is the LEAST best. So, if you get the bronze, you can't throw anything. You can't hurt anyone. And you can't throw a fit. I'd lke you to sign here right now. No pencil . . . Great, thanks!"


Daisy was back, "Mom, what is your favorite color?"


Uh . . . blue.
 
 
"Great, mom..you will be the BLUE ...uh, mom, what's your favorite animal?"


Um...
 
 
"If they're all your favorite and you can't rank them, you can be the shapeshifters. The BLUE shapeshifters. You can even be a human or a magical creature and then you can change into a dolphin . . . or a cow . . . "


Daisy returned to Violet at the table, "Violet! Mom's gonna be a shapeshifter! What are you gonna be? What's your favorite animal?"


"Um, I . . . like . . . koala bears! Because . . .THEY'RE SO CUTE! Especially the baby ones!"


"OK, Violet, you'll be the Baby Koala Bears."


"NO! I LIKE ALL THE ANIMALS!"
 
 
"OK, Violet, YOU'LL be the shapeshifters. And MOM! You'll be the BLUE BOA CONSTRUCTORS! OK? OK, MOM?"
 
 
OK, can I please just drink my coffee in peace now?
 
 
"But mom, can we just do the raffle? We need to do the raffle. MOM!"


Daisy stopped her pacing to perch next to me on the couch for a few beats. I recognized an opening . . . See? This is men's volleyball. This game is really fast.


"Oh."


Well, do you see how big their muscles are? The U.S. guys have bigger muscles than those Serbian guys. Can't you tell?


"Yeah, Mom...in-teres-ting. I really think we should get that raffle started."


Fine. Just let me drink my coffee first.


In a hushed tone, Daisy turned to me to announce,"OK, but the raffle will be starting in 15 minutes!"


Daisy!!!


"FINE!!"


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