I’m not going to lie - we’re still adjusting to the split custody arrangement. Daisy is at moments overcome by flashes of anger. Violet cries in anticipation of the next switch. On the nights I don’t have them, a passing siren can leave me sleepless for hours. I promise the kids it will get better, and they want to know when. I totally understand.
I have to look back to where we were a year ago to see the progress. I try to imagine a year into the future and can’t. I would take uncertainty over stagnancy any day, but clearly, it’s time for new goals. For the better part of a year, my goals were all in the category of Stability: Step 1. What else is there when going through a divorce while moving, reorganizing a family, and starting a new job?
But there was a subtle shift in July that seems to suggest when is now. I can’t help but associate this shift with our best dolphin sighting ever. During a walk on the beach at sunset last month, Violet had been complaining that it was not fair her older sister and dad had seen a dolphin the day before. Actually, she said it was “no fai-yeh.” She had tried and tried to see it too but never did and never had. She was taking it pretty hard.
And that is why I’m starting to think about the future again as well as those philosophical questions that have no bearing on the daily grind, such as what I would do with my time if money wasn’t an issue (what would you do?). Interviewing seniors and writing about their lives came to mind. My 98-year-old grandmother’s health is declining, and she’s not as articulate as she once was. I wish I could have asked her more questions, but maybe she wouldn’t have felt comfortable answering them honestly. I wonder if it’s the type of sharing that’s best done with strangers. Imagine the history and wisdom waiting to be explored.
Last night, I went to the visiting Picasso exhibit in the city with a friend. He pointed out something I would have missed - it was so simple and small next to the large graphic canvasses. A bike seat with handlebars attached was mounted to the wall to resemble an animal skull with antlers. I have long been fascinated by art made of repurposed materials. It’s another pastime I would add to the list if time and money were abundant (as well as my own artistic ability). But on a more practical level, it’s a type of creativity that inspires me in daily life. I aspire to alter my perspective on life as it is, rather than wait for what the future might bring.
pod. for some reason i cannot leave here without typing it. it's a compulsion. could be why i don't have many friends.
ReplyDeletesenior stories sound great. but then, so does found object art.
yes, you are so right. and apparently it's a bull skull with horns, not an animal skull with antlers.
ReplyDeletebut if they were porpoises, then they would be a school. i'm just saying.
I didn't know that! Learned something new. Off to look up more about porpoises.
ReplyDeleteok, but i was hoping to be the porpoise expert. you already have dolphins.
ReplyDeletei had no idea river dolphins existed. sadly, some are now extinct. very interesting stuff.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeletenot to make fun.....but I totally saw the uterus and fallopian tube drawings of my youth....
ReplyDeletenot to make fun, but you used to draw uterus and fallopian tubes?
ReplyDeleteoh no. before superpragmatic corrects me again, i better look up the plural of uterus.
ReplyDeleteha funny, no there were diagrams for health class that looked like this........fifth, sixth and seventh grade were big years for teaching us kids about our anatomy and the books and teacher drawings often ended up looking like this......the only time i spent drawing anything surrounding uterus(i?) would have been in some college science classes.....that's so funny I(!) knew what I meant! 'just didn't take the time to read the comment as others might...........oops!
ReplyDeletei don't know. that's a lot of explaining. you really don't have to be ashamed of your uteri-drawing past.
ReplyDeletesorry, i just like twisting people's words for my own entertainment. i'm not very mature and have been feeling sad all day, which means i'm even more obnoxious than usual. thanks for the comments :)