Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Speed Limit

After work on Sunday, I drove 15 minutes to Golden Gate Park to see my kids for the first time in four days. The park was all lush green in chilly fog. I love that. The girls were there with their dad and our old friends. It was a relaxed, easy social interaction with my ex, which is what it needs to be.

When I first got to the park, Violet ran to me laughing and shouting, handing me flowers she had picked, and taking a running leap. Daisy saw me and glared. She walked over stiffly and burst into tears. I hugged Daisy while she sobbed and her monkey sister giggled from a backbend on my hip. Daisy didn't want to leave her friends, another pair of sisters my kids love were there as well.

I reassured Daisy that we would stay until it was time to leave, purposefully keeping it vague just in case. Daisy ran back to her friends but Violet stayed, classic for seven and four. Violet circled me. She dropped to her knees to inspect my shoes, giving her approval. She examined my dress, snapped my hose, then focused in on my belt, "Very intwuesting . . . is this my mama?" I usually dress a little too plainly for her tastes. She's always trying to spice up my outfit with a heel or something sparkly.

But the best part of the visit was when I shared a recent sex talk I had with Daisy, per her questions I might add, with my ex and his good friend, the dad of my daughters' sister friends. I have to admit the discussion was a little graphic, but if Oprah can talk about it on TV, you would think I could talk about it at a park with other parents I know. First, I noticed both the dads looking a little gray and they weren't smiling . . . no, those weren't smiles at all. There may have been some eye twitching, gag reflex, and general lightheadedness. Oh my dad friends, remember when you instilled fear into the hearts of dads? Tag, you're it.

Later, back at the apartment, I called the kids in from the courtyard for the night. Violet cried, "I miss the city!" over and over again. That's the first time I realized I could actually move to the city, the small print being that I would have to convince my ex to move there for a sane co-parenting situation. A long shot at best.

On the way over the hill this morning, grandparent bound, Violet asked if I was going the speed limit. I explained I was going under the speed limit. Daisy interjected, "Mom, she doesn't know what a speed limit is." Sure she does. Daisy turned to her sister, "Violet, what's a speed limit?" Violet looked at her sister defiantly, "It means drive fast on the highway."

Yeah dads, let's keep a close eye on that Violet.

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