Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I took out my ex for a belated birthday dinner with the kids on Monday. We went to a favorite restaurant then down the street for ice cream. My intent was that it was going to be a good night for the kids. Things are in a decent place with the ex lately. We can hold a conversation without it getting all weird and tense. 

Or we could if the kids would let us. Talk about weird and tense. The girls were both uncomfortable with their dad and I talking at dinner. They compulsively interrupted us, kicked each other, mishandled the table lamp. And then, the locally made, seasonal organic ice cream really hit the fan. We dropped off their dad among gathering drama that poured through bedtime and resumed first thing in the morning.

My girls long ago developed the talent to distract their parents to, in their minds, keep the peace like little lawless sheriffs. I’ve tried to wrestle that responsibility away from them, but it's a case of choosing control over desire.  More than anything, the girls want us to get along like a happy family, but because they feel so much at the mercy of an uncontrollable situation, they'll settle for pushing our buttons.

As I was doing my motivational yelling and threatening this morning, Violet lay half-dressed on the floor, having hit ANOTHER obstacle to getting dressed. She only wears leggings – never pants – and she’s between sizes. The smaller size cuts into her tummy just a tiny princess-and-the-pea amount, and the bigger size apparently doesn’t give her that spanking good spandex feeling. Out of desperation, I inadvertently handed her the leggings from hell  – tight in the waist and baggy in the legs. She screamed, "Too tight! Too big! Too tight! Too big!" rolling around on the carpet while I hid in the kitchen by the coffee.

That might not sound bad, but it’s all in the category of straw on my aching back with those guys. Plus, my ongoing campaign that everything is going to be OK is in need of some fresh inspiration. It’s fine. Everything really is OK. It amazes me how much has worked out that could have gone wrong as we've ventured into a new phase. It's just the logistics can be challenging. This morning, before the drama even had a chance to fade, I did the kid drop-offs and said goodbye for 12 hours, relying both on my carpooling buddy and daycare savior to cover my kids. I am tremendously lucky in many respects, and I know, life is logistically challenging. My eyes still teared up on my way out of town.


  1. Awe lady, you are one good writer. I was laughing, then I got all teary.

    Leggings that don't give you "that spanking good spandex feeling?" I can so relate. I wore some tonight that were saggy in the crotch--that shit can make you cranky.

    Just so no one has to wonder, I wear them under dresses or long tunics. That doesn't sound much better as I am writing it. Don't make me rethink the leggings.

  2. thanks!

    i know, i can't do regular leggings. i thought it was because i only had cheap ones but i tried a better pair and they still fell right off. tights leggings are the only way to go.

    i picture my kids' generation becoming a bunch of old ladies running around in stretch pants. they really can't stand anything that's loose around their ankles. strange.

  3. and you know what i like to wear with my tights leggings? half shirts! it looks amazing.