Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Boss of the World

Little girls are the boss of the world. They know everything. I think back to the conversations Bindy and I used to have as teenagers, just before real adulthood started to interfere in a systematic way – we were fortunate enough to enjoy a childhood as not all children are – and I admire the simplicity of our self-assuredness. The beauty of being the boss of the world is you don’t even have to be right; you just have to think you are.

When I was pregnant with Daisy, my mother told me you relive your childhood through your children. Whatever age they are, you re-experience in a powerful way. It’s one of those concepts I didn’t really get until I was in it. Watching a person grow up is to be haunted by ghosts of childhood past.

Second grade is going well for us. The teacher is skilled and wants to be left alone by the parents. I am thankful school is stable while Daisy has so many adjustments to make in her personal life. When I was in second grade, I learned my family was moving to Saudi Arabia and showed my class where it was on a globe our teacher brought to my desk. A boy asked if we were driving there. I laughed at him . . . of course not . . . the blue area is ocean! That was the extent of my knowledge regarding our new home, but I was The Expert of Big Moves. Large ocean = no driving. What more is there?

I can’t help but think that kids grow up more quickly these days. I also wonder if that’s a perception created over and over again by adults misinterpreting the views of unknowing children. Maybe kids have seemed overly sophisticated for generations as they innocently reflect what they see or hear. As my girls were trying on clothes in the dressing room at Macy’s the other day, Daisy claimed her four-year-old sister Violet said, “What the fuck?” Um . . . we don’t talk like that! Where’d you hear that? Daisy looked at me, smiling. Well, little kids don’t talk like that. Don’t say that at school.

Daisy and I had a check-in this week; our mother-daughter talks are getting good. I asked her about school and how things were going with BFF. She was a reluctant participant in the convo at first, claiming I was just going to tell all my friends and laugh about it. Nah uh. . . tell me! Then, she laid it down: Daisy and BFF are not sassy girls. I had to know . . . what’s a sassy girl? Daisy explained, “You know, like Violet. The kind of girls that like fluffy dogs and kittens. And chase boys and wear pink. All they care about is being popular and going shopping. I like a lot of dangerous animals . . . like sharks and tarantulas. I like natural things.” Wait a second . . . you like shopping and kittens. It’s OK to like pink and be tough, by the way. And tarantulas aren’t even dangerous . . . they just look scary. She wasn’t buying the knowledge I had to offer, “Mom, you don’t understand. I shouldn’t have told you.” OK, fine. What else?

Daisy blurted out, “Well, two boys are trying to date BFF!” WTF??? You’re in second grade! And then I said out loud: what does dating mean to you? Daisy didn’t hold back, “Kissing! You know Jaden? Well, he tried to do kissy lips at BFF and got close to her face.” And then what happened? “Oh, the line moved, and he fell on the ground and kissed the floor.” Hmm . . . there’s something fishy about that story . . . how do you know this? “BFF told me.” I see. Well, be sure to stay away from kissy boy. “MO-OM! Of course I don’t want to kiss a boy. I’m just trying not to fight them. It’s really hard not to, but I’m making myself walk away calmly.” Who’s trying to fight you? What does he look like? “Bennett. He always says stuff to me to try to get me to fight him. He has hair like Violet’s and always wears a red shirt. It’s really weird.” OK well, stay away from him too. Sometimes, boys try to fight you when they like you. “I know.” Of course you do.


1 comment:

  1. yup, my daughter is in third grade and a lot of the girls hate the boys right now....however I had to explain to her it actually means that they like the boys. My child wasn't buying it though because she's friends with all of the boys in her class.....I suspect this isn't going to be fun.