Saturday, February 5, 2011

Super Love

Bionic Woman was a little upset when she discovered I had set up profiles using her real name and picture on the dating websites she keeps sending me links to. What a pain it is to fill in those questionnaires. I answered every single question completely accurately for Bionic. She didn’t think so, but her grasp on reality isn’t always so tight.

I did use my zip code and also, unfortunately, my email address. Now, my inbox is being bombarded by horndogs wanting to meet Bionic. She’s quite the hit in my town. I think she really needs to come for a visit soon so she can realize her full player potential. We could set her up for breakfast, lunch and dinner dates, making it clear upfront that a lady never pays. There’s a money saving tip, Bionic. You could even have an afternoon snack date if you wanted. Get yourself some candy.

The only thing about the dates is Bionic might have to wear her superhero costume because I used her blog profile pic. Don’t forget the blonde wig. It really makes your eyes pop.

I’m a little concerned because I deleted her profile last night on Plenty of Fish, but I’m still getting emails from fish wanting to meet Bionic. I got three in the last 20 minutes. I think I doomed myself to pimping out my friend. But she’s getting emails for me and god only knows what she’s doing with those, so it’s good to keep my contacts handy for swift retribution when needed. You hear that, Bionic? I’ve got my contacts ready to go.

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