Tuesday, February 1, 2011

So Many Men, So Little Time

On a couple occasions recently, my younger bro has said something like, “I bet you’re really going to like living on your own. I could see you like Great Grandma kicking it in a silver airstream trailer – keeping it real solo for the rest of your days.”

He didn’t really say it that way, but I like to think of my great grandma kicking it in her trailer. When she had a bigger trailer, my middle bro and I would spend the night with her regularly. She was an independent thinker and very interactive with us kids . . . playing games and discussing her ideas with us (e.g. God is a she). And when I say discussing, I mean she literally wanted to know what we thought instead of just telling us how it is. We loved her, and Daisy’s middle name is hers.

I’m not sure I’m aiming for a solo trailer mission though. Maybe. I’m not saying it’s a bad option. I doubt I’ll ever get married again. That’s a whole other post and probably one I should shelve for a while. But I do picture having another companion at some point.

It’s a trip, though, to check out how my single friends go about things. I have a lady friend who has made internet dating into a substantial hobby. She also spends thousands of dollars to belong to a singles group that is advertised heavily in this area. Her weekends are filled with events like piano bar night and singles camping, aka Overnight Hookup Fest. From what I understand, she’s made more connections to other single girls in the group than to guys worth mentioning. But that doesn’t deter her – she’s fully committed, and I admire that, though I would probably opt for the airstream if that was the last way on earth to meet a guy.

I have a guy friend who is also an avid internet dater. He was sharing war stories recently, going over possible leads. What struck me was how much of it seemed to be intellectual for him – what he was looking for, plusses/minuses. For me, falling for someone has always been poetry, not science. But last time I was single, I was in my twenties, so my thinking is probably in need of some fine-tuning, otherwise known as major adjustments. Still, airstream over internet dating for sure.

What I forgot to mention is that both single friends have always been hot commodities with the opposite sex. I think every guy I know has had a thing for my lady friend. Part of being her housemate involved escorting her steady stream of heartbroken rejects to the exit. And my guy friend is the Pied Piper of Hot Women. To this day, he has women approaching him with scenarios that most men only experience in their minds. To see those two working so hard at meeting someone special doesn’t leave much hope for the mortals.

But don’t worry about me. I have PLENTY of options, and I’m not even looking. Exhibit A: my special friend at the apartments I call The Host. My landlord told me he only rents to professionals, so I’m guessing The Host is a professional drinker. He’s an older gentleman with a toothless smile and can be seen in the courtyard with a glass of red wine in hand by 10 a.m. on many mornings. He sits and reads and gives shout-outs to people he likes. He calls me “Mother of the Redhead – Oh Shit.” Actually, he doesn’t cuss when I have the kids, but you get the picture. Anyway, this morning I was on my way to the laundry room when I saw The Host make a bee-line to his apartment and emerge a few seconds later, proudly displaying a crumbled paper bag. He stepped into the laundry room to announce he had something special for the beautiful young lady of apartment #(censored). Inside the bag was an unopened box of strawberry pop tarts WITH frosting. And guess what, Ladies? The box wasn’t even expired . . . don’t hate me because I’m lucky.

I actually really like The Host and his good vibes. We totally wouldn’t work though. He likes red wine in the morning; I like white at night. We’re like ships passing at opposite times of day. That’s why it’s best to keep my options open. Like tonight, as I was walking back from Safeway, there was this hippied-out younger guy begging for money at the intersection as I was waiting to cross the street. I glanced at him and looked away. Suddenly, I heard this very reasonable voice say, “Hey, are you busy tonight?” I looked back at him, you’re not really standing there with your change cup asking if I’m busy. He was really nice about it, “Yeah, I bet you’re busy.” It was tempting . . . he certainly was resourceful and outgoing . . . and you know how much respect I have for those cougars. I could have asked him to give me a call when he had collected enough for dinner . . . hmmm.

Yeah, maybe an airstream.

picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnrobertshepherd/5399587998/sizes/l/in/photostream/


  1. I liked reading this. I'm the single parent of an eight year old and dating has been absent for a long while. I sometimes catch myself creating funny (to me) mini episodes in my head of dating or meeting someone and then I snap out of it and laugh....which then prompts my daughter to ask what I'm laughing at so I move on. I'm approaching forty and today as we were moving our cars for the snowplow, my neighbor shouted "I hate to tell you this but you look like a kid"....I didn't feel complimented just somehow anxious about the pressures of time....keep throwing it out there to the universe.

  2. Glad you liked.

    Well, sincerely hope you have some real life episodes coming your way. Definitely let me know if something happens soon.

    I'm far from ready. Think the universe is just having a little fun with me these days.