Sunday, April 5, 2009

Daredevil


Back in February, I told a select few people I was writing a blog and none of them read it or one of them apparently did, but no one had anything to say about it. One was upfront that he would not be reading it. I was psyched for my one random follower.



So last week I decided to share it with a good friend who I hardly ever talk to anymore, just because we both suck at calling each other and we've never really gotten in the habit of emailing. She's the most successful of my college girlfriends and she's also the most crazy. I will call her Daredevil because that's what she calls herself. Daredevil actually writes stuff that gets published and at one point, was writing a book so I was interested in her response.



So here's the email thread . . .
(WARNING: IF YOU ARE A PERSON OF NORMAL SENSIBILITIES AND DO NOT CARE TO BE GROSSED OUT, DO NOT READ THIS.)


DAREDEVIL: I love this, and can’t stop reading. You’re an “ass” because I have a LOT of work to do today. You need to share it with the girls… NOW.


ME: You're too sweet. What's up with you, sucka? No rush, as I know you are busy.


DAREDEVIL: I read every one of your posts. I was amazed by how well you write. I was also laughing, almost crying.. and just a little sad that we don’t spend enough time together. I am your second “random” follower. Keep em coming.


ME: Thanks for reading every single one and being so encouraging. I miss you too. Now, if you could just find the time to start a blog then we could be total blog buddies . . .unless you already have like four of them that you write while you're working out in between power meetings and diaper changes. Hope to talk to you soon . . . let me know what's going on in your life too!


DAREDEVIL: So, first off, Happy April 1st. I pulled off some of my best work last night. Ralph got a vasectomy about 6 months ago. He never went back and got tested to see if there was change left in the coin purse, if you know what I mean (you can imagine where this one is going). Anyway, for the last week, I have been complaining of nausea and stomach cramps and fatigue. Yesterday, I persuaded my pregnant friend to pee on a stick. I then presented it to him last night. He was in shock.. sweat, eff bombs, and pacing were all symptoms of his reaction. Then, he realized that I wasn’t reacting the same way, sat down and asked, “well, how do YOU feel about it?” I responded with, “I don’t know how I feel, I mean, obviously I am not as excited as when I was pregnant with Josh.” He then said, “no shit. I had a vasectomy because we didn’t want any more children.” He was freaking! I left him sweat for about 10-15 minutes and then yelled, “you dumb shit, you have known me for 6 years and this is the greatest day of the year.” He was dumbfounded and didn’t know how to respond, so he sulked all evening and then finally he stuck his finger in his butthole and put it up my nose. This is an absolute true story. Blog about THAT one.



ME: Hmm, maybe you shouldn't have a blog.



picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/27760134@N03/3404769965/

1 comment:

  1. hahahah.....oh my....haha

    That was evil of her, but WOW. He sure did get her back.

    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete